Why men prefer natural women over glam — and how it shapes who they marry.
I remember when I was a senior in high school, just a month before graduation, an elementary school crush randomly resurfaced after ten years. He asked to meet up. So, I went by his parents’ house for a chat, thinking it would be sweet and nostalgic.
It wasn’t.
Instead of reminiscing or catching up, he decided to critique my appearance. Apparently:
- My outfit was “too flashy”
- My makeup was overdone
- I didn’t look like the natural girl he remembered
His takeaway? I didn’t need all the extra. He liked me better bare-faced and simple. And being a teenage girl, I took all of it as a lowkey insult.
But here’s the twist: he meant it as a compliment.
Attention vs. Intentions
In college, I leaned all the way into the glam. Wigs. Bright eyeshadow. Over-the-top everything. And yeah, I got attention. But the kind that felt shallow. The “pretty boys with no purpose” types. The men I actually liked didn’t seem to like me back. Either they assumed I liked the attention too much, or they thought I looked like a circus act.
Looking back, I went a little hard with the glam. But damn — do men expect us to just wash our face, throw on yoga pants, and call it a day?
Apparently… yes.
A Male Friend Dropped Some Truth (That Lowkey Hurt)
During a recent convo with a guy friend from college, he said women often don’t understand what men really want. He said:
“Most women don’t realize how beautiful they are until they strip it all back. Hoodie. Natural hair. Clean face. That’s the look. But let me be clear — men will sleep with women in full glam mode. But marry them? Not likely.”
He went on:
“It’s like this: you go to a woman’s house, and she looks like herself when she opens the door. But by the end of the night, the lashes are off, the wig’s on a mannequin head, and Spanx have hit the floor. And suddenly, you’re not sure who you were flirting with in the first place.”
“Men want to know what they’re getting. We want a woman who might be average on the street but glows when she smiles. That’s sexy. Real sexy.”
What stood out to me in all of that?
The word “average.”
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The Wife vs. The Fantasy
Men may drool over the red-carpet-ready look, but they fall for the woman who can rock confidence in her natural state.
Me? I’ve been told plenty of times that I look better without makeup. So these days, I keep it simple: lashes and lipstick. That’s my daily glam. No foundation. No contour. No bronzer or blush. Just skin, baby.
And the men I’ve met? They appreciate it. They don’t need the extras. They like to know what’s under the glam and don’t feel like they’re being tricked into attraction.
Sure, I’m still working on letting go of the wigs and hair extensions — but there’s a story behind that too. Another time.
Real Talk
I agree with what my friend said. Men might flirt, date, and even obsess over the glam version of us. But when it comes to marriage? Most want to build a life with the woman behind the glam, not the one who feels like she’s in full character every day.
Because let’s be honest:
Men don’t marry drop-dead gorgeous women. But they will absolutely sleep with them.
And that, my friends, is a whole conversation.
Confidence isn’t in the glam. It’s in the bare face you show the world without apology.
-Teri Nickels (Originally discussed on Medium.com by Teri Nickels)
What do you think — do men truly prefer natural beauty, or is it just another double standard? Drop a comment and let’s talk.
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